Molly and Ace’s Report Card on Humanity, January 2012

Appearance: C-

It’s winter, everyone looks like shit. But snow on the mountains is pretty.

Sports: D+

All the teams I hate from New York have been successful and it’s not baseball season yet. Also Wilson Valdez got traded to the Reds. But playoff football was playoff football, so a few bonus points for beerz and Michael Strahan’s teeth.

Culture: F+

The Bachelor still exists, Sasha Frere-Jones just wrote something nice about Lana Del Taco (it’s like a double negative!) and The Hunger Games movie is still a month away. 

Politics: G [OP]

It’s the late 90s all over again. Remember the late 90s? When everyone was laughing because LOL no way would anyone actually vote for silly lil G.W. Bush? Is there a Groupon deal for tix to the Gingrich Inauguration yet?

Behavior Towards One Another: Z+

Everyone I know is fighting and/or breaking up and/or being really mean. Good job, nobody! The plus is for my friends who just had babies, because babies are too little to be mean. 

Overall Grade: THE FINGER

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